Most foster parents are amazing, generous, committed people who do everything they can to make things work well. They know that the other folks working for rescue groups are also volunteers, with jobs, family commitments, and their own pets (and often foster pets as well). They know, in short, that we're all in it together, and that we can only achieve our shared goal of helping animals if we all treat each other with respect, patience, and friendship.
The majority of wonderful fosters more than make up for the occasional difficult experiences – which usually result not from bad intentions but from people committing before thinking it through completely. To make things even better, here are a few tips that can help reduce the challenges. Most rescue groups have gotten a call from a foster saying “come get my dog. Now.” Usually this is because the dog is more difficult than the foster anticipated, and they don’t have the patience to wait for things to get better.
When you get a dog straight from the shelter, you need to be prepared for surprises and for a transition period that can last several weeks (or more). Your foster dog may never have lived in a home before. She or he may never have had kind treatment from humans, may have been on a chain or in a pen and unable to socialize normally with other animals, may have been hungry or abused, or may just be very confused and scared. Please do not offer to foster if you are not able to cope with common issues and problems with patience and a sense of humor.
Perhaps the most common reason that fosters want to return their foster dog is issues with their own dogs. We recommend giving it at least two weeks before you give up! During this time, please keep the foster pet separated from your dog(s) and follow our instructions for carefully managed interactions. We have had good success with slow introductions even for dogs who were reactive and growly at first. It’s hard for your dogs to accept a stranger into their turf, and it’s scary for the new dog to try to fit in. If you are not willing to follow instructions and stick it out for a couple of weeks, then please do not try fostering. The same goes for other common issues, including house training, leash walking, jumping up, etc. If you follow instructions and it still isn’t working out, we will find a new foster home – but it may not be immediate. Please keep dogs separated during this time and we will do our best. We cannot always work miracles, but we try.
Remember, there is no backup home. If you really have tried everything and cannot keep your foster dog, we will do our best to find a new foster home but it may take time. Please understand this before you commit to fostering. (The exception is when we take a dog from a current foster to try in a new foster home. We do this especially for fosters with cats. We can arrange this, but otherwise we take dogs from the shelter’s euthanasia list directly to the foster home and there is no backup.)
Okay, now for the happy part. First and foremost, we love you. We want you to be happy and we want you to keep fostering. Please let us know whenever you have questions or concerns, about health, behavior, or anything else.
To keep you and your foster dog happy, we try to supply everything you need, from food and crates to advice about training and behavior. We often arrange for playdates or group walks if you’d like your foster dog to socialize with other dogs in a controlled environment.
And finally, a few requests (you knew this was coming).
First and foremost, talk to us! We want to know if you need more food, if you are worried about that red patch on your foster dog's back, or if you are about to lose your mind because he won't stop harassing your cat. We can't say it enough: we are more than willing to do what it takes to make this work, but we need to know what's going on. If you talk to us, we promise that we won't judge, we won't ignore you, and we won't take away your foster dog (if you don't want us to).
All the other requests are really more specific versions of "talk to us." For example, we need you to tell us about health concerns -- and we need you not to take your foster dog to the vet without first getting approval (unless it is a life threatening emergency and you cannot get in touch with us). We also need you not to take your dog to off-leash dog parks without checking first. Dog parks can be great fun but they can also be dangerous. We cannot afford vet care or a lawsuit if something goes wrong! Some of our dogs are experienced and well-socialized and do great at the dog park, but not all are ready for it. Talk to us!
And as a corollary to talking, please listen to and follow instructions. Don't second guess us about exercise, food, medicine, or other issues -- the rules are there because of past experience, not an arbitrary desire to be bossy. This means you may not be able to do everything with your foster dog that you do with your dog. For example, do not let your foster dog off-leash in any other setting besides a fully enclosed yard or dog park. No exceptions, no matter how calm and well-behaved the dog is. It’s not worth the risk of having your dog hit by a car, attacked by another dog, or lost. For similar reasons, please don't start or stop medicines, change a training routine, or otherwise alter your dog's routine unless we have talked about it and agreed. You live with your foster dog and know her/him well, and we are happy to learn from you -- but at the same time, we need you to be willing to learn from our experiences (and understand that we are the ones who have to pay the bill or deal with other unpleasant fallout when things don't go well).
As always, we will try to work with you to make the situation better. Please be patient with us and with your foster dog. Did we mention that we love you?
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